An Open Letter To Alan Ball

Dear Alan Ball,

First of all, thank you very much for doing a pretty good job on True Blood. I have stood by you thru three seasons now. All of the Vampire stories have been great and while I sort of snoozed my way thru the maenad and the Barbie Fairy Playland thing you have going and I forgive you (kinda/sorta) for what you did to Hot Shot, I have a few words for you about the witches you are planning to have next year....

First of all, though witchcraft is pretty elastic, it is not as elastic as you would make it. We aren't mythical creatures like the fae or the weres or the shifters or the Vampires, we are real. And the first real thing you should know about us is, we don't give abortions... That was just wrong. Another thing is, being in the broom closet is even more confining than being in the coffin (or the closet if you really want to know) Holly simply would not have come bounding out of the broom closet like that, I don't care what sort of type A personality you think she should have.

Witches have rules...you should probably have a real witch on your pay roll to consult your writers about both real magik and fantasy magic. They can help you a lot. And don't feel too bad about making the mistakes you have made, the writers for Charmed and The Craft and any other witch centered show or movie have made the same mistakes.

Please show the respect you show other minorities when you write about us...or we will collectively turn you into something....How about a were-toad...now that would be something...

Blessed Be....
A friendly Witch

Mr. Ball, as an addendum to Aslinn's letter, please be advised that what you did with Sam's character was a major FUBAR. Now, with that being said, I commend you on your efforts with Lafayette and the new character Jessica Hamby. However, please devote someof your hiatus time to improving the fae image on the show. As it currently stands, it is unacceptable and lacks imagination and creativity, which we know you possess.

Sincerely,

Fairy